Prices: $62.40 for 96 rolls, or $15.99 for 16 rolls (shipping is free).

ShitBegone Value is no-nonsense, 100% recycled toilet paper. The rolls are 2-ply, 500-sheet, and individually wrapped.

ShitBegone Value rolls, although they say "pillow soft," don't feel soft in your hand. The paper inside is soft, not the roll.

Marvin, our supplier for this paper, is an old-timer, and he has a problem with what other companies do to make their rolls feel "soft". It's called embossing— crushing the paper between textured steel rollers, to make little bumps on it. That way, when the paper is rolled up, the layers don't lie flat. And so the rolls feel soft, because there's a lot more air in them.

In some brands, the rolls are 60 or 70% air. All that air uses extra space and fuel during handling. But embossing doesn't make the actual paper softer— in fact, it can make it scratchier. Hence Marvin's position: he's in business to sell toilet paper, not air. He refuses to emboss, and so his rolls feel hard. It's a brave stand these days— with young folks long since brainwashed into thinking that for soft paper, you need a squeezable roll. But Marvin makes a paper that works well, it's 100% recycled, and best of all it's honest. For ShitBegone Value, that seems to make sense.